I was lying in bed this Monday morning getting a little sad. I realized that I did not have some sort of fun adventure planned for this week. It is going to be a week full of work, spring cleaning and being the Mom taxi that I am. However, as I was out on my morning walk, I had the clear realization that life’s adventures and new things (aha moments) are not just about fun, travel, etc. They also can come in the form of a life lesson that sets you up for future greatness. I was joined on my walk this morning by my husband. Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. We were reminiscing about the last 15 years and all the ups and downs that we have had. We are currently in a pattern in our relationship where we are working on ourselves. We have realized that in order to move forward in a positive and loving way to each other, that it was time to step back and take care of ourselves. This has come in the form of therapy, energy work, yoga, mediation, life coaching and several other modalities. It’s been a slow process, but one that seems to be moving in a forward and positive direction.
What brought up the aha moment was that we were discussing a family member that we were both getting frustrated with. We know deep in our hearts that his indecisions and fear hold him back from living his true potential. It’s been a source of frustration for years. However, today I had a moment, for my first time ever, where I stopped and said, “I was taught the difference between what I could and could not control!” It’s taken me years of self-work to do this, yet this family member has not done this at all. He has made the conscious choice to stay stuck in old limiting beliefs and patterns.
I turned the conversation around to, “Why do we spend so much energy on worrying about this person?” It’s because we are not taking that energy and putting it on our own journey. It’s super easy to put your attention on someone else so you don’t have to take care of your own issues. I will go a few steps forward and then revert back to this old pattern of “worrying and trying to fix” someone else. How convenient! This takes my time away from me and makes me think I am using it for a valid reason!
Today was a great first for me. I was able to realize that I was doing that. I also saw for the first time that it is time to let this family member live his own life. He is on his own path, we just have to accept and love him. Here is a quote I heard today and I believe it is from AA:
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."
What aha moments have you come up with today? Would love to hear your stories!
Until my next adventure,
P.A. Walker
