It's all about me. Yes, that's right. That's what I said, it's all about me. Now I'm going down the path that your brain just automatically went down. I'm talking about how I realized today how much I get in my own way. I harbor anger against others that should be anger towards myself. Someone very wise pointed that out to me today. She said, all this anger you have towards others, what is really about? It seems it was about how I have anger against myself. Anger that I didn't make certain life choices, or I sat around and let others take care of me, or anger that I didn't set boundaries and let others take advantage of me. It hurt so bad, my liver was actually glowing inside my body. Ouch. Sure way to come down with something life threatening. Now the next steps. Now that I made that realization, where do I go from here? How do I move on from that realization and move forward instead of sliding back into old habits? If I slide into old habits, I will cause myself even more anger. It's just now hitting me how much time and energy I spent focusing that anger on others and sitting around waiting until they changed, if they ever changed. Phew. That felt good. That just felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Funny how this all works.
Where do I go from here can be answered with a variety of ways. The one I am relying on at the moment is quiet introspection. Getting up early and meditating and asking, "Please show me the next steps to take.". We all think that we need the final answer to the question instantly but I am coming to realize more and more that it truly is one step at a time. Let me give you a for instance. The past week we made the decision that it was time to sell our house. The timing is just right as this will free us up to take the next right steps in life and to have some cash in the bank to pursue what we really want to do in life. I leapt right into action with calls to agents etc. However, I got the clear message that this might take some time but the outcome will be favorable. I re-arranged and decided that a "soft" opening would take place. What I mean by this is first tell some friends, then perhaps advertise on Facebook, etc. This situation will take care of itself.
I've already had the inevitable, "Well, where are you going to go?". For the first time in my life, I don't have the answer and I am feeling really calm about it. I know I do need to take some steps to try and narrow it down and do some research, however, in the end it truly will flow as it should. This is so a whole new way of thinking for me.
Today's message is just this: it's time to go inward. It's time to take the blame off of others and use that energy to work on your own "stuff". It's amazing how liberating and powerful this can be. I've already noticed a shift in my relationships around me because I am working on myself and staying in my own lane.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” ― Ernest Hemingway
Until My Next Adventure,
P.A. Walker
Are you ready to say yes to your soul by shifting your perspective to create something extraordinary? I invite you to contact me via email at pwalker2650@gmail.com to discuss how I can help you to make your next chapter better than your last.
Please also follow me on my Facebook Page: The Second Half or via Twitter (Patricia A. Walker@50foraYear).
