The Circle of Influence

As I continue on with my new decade I keep having the feeling that my past no matter what I try and do, just keeps following me. I can resist it but it will persist. Case in point, I have been working on my circle of influence.  I keep hearing that you are the sum total of those five people that are closest to you. When I first heard that and looked around, I was kind of aghast and started really working on myself. I was attracting certain types of people that didn’t fit with my definition of success for myself. I was around some folks that were not very uplifting. Did I do this because I wanted to feel better about myself?  Most likely the answer is yes. After making this realization, I set about surrounding myself with some like-minded folks.  I went on retreats, took classes and did a whole lot of reading.  I sat down today for the first time and realized I had done just what I set out to do. I have succeeded in surrounding myself with a great group of people who are not only always there for me, but also uplift me.  So what is the problem? The problem is that my past keeps giving me pop quizzes. It keeps having people appear to throw me tests on how far I have really come.

After spending yet another lunch time with someone who just doesn’t want to look inside, I had had enough. I blurted out, "If you don’t change something, than why do you think anything is going to change?"   She stopped, looked at me and just keep babbling on with those words that I have forbidden my kid to ever use, “Yeah but….”. It was at that moment that I realized that not only did I have the tools to work myself out of this situation, but that I was ready to actually use them. I looked at her and again muttered, but louder this time, “If you don’t change anything, how do you expect this situation to ever change?”. I then got up and told her that I had to go and turned and walked away. This was a huge first for me. It might not have been the proper way to handle the situation, but in my gut, I think she may have gotten the message. Why do I sometimes continue to go back into these toxic situations that I know are not good for me to be in?  Simple, fear of letting the other person know how I feel and fear of conflict.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point of having these tools, but I know they work now and I certainly will not hesitate to use them if the situation arises again. In the meantime,  I made a point to reach out to my newest circle of influence folks and let them know how much I appreciate each and every one of them. I appreciate that they have come into my life at just the right moment and I truly thank them for that!!

I question if any of you have been in this same situation and how you handled it.

I leave you with a link to a great blog called The Evening Cup.  In this particular post, Nicole Taylor gives her readers some great advice!

http://theeveningcup.com/3-reasons-let-go-wrong-people/

Until My Next Adventure,

P.A. Walker

Not So Fast and Not So Furious

I did it! I went to race car school. It’s been on my bucket list for years now and I finally made it happen.  I attended a class and training at Exotics Racing in Las Vegas. The staff was amazing and my experience was beyond awesome. I left the track that day saying that was one of the coolest things I have ever done in my whole life. It truly made me feel really alive.

After sitting in a class on technique and going around the track once to get some instructions from a seasoned professional, I was given the keys and allowed behind the wheel. For this adventure, I chose to go out in a Porsche Cayman.   Although it was referred to by some of the drivers at Exotics as the "go-cart", I was still thrilled to be able to get out and make some turns.

My instructor hailed from the U.K. and was a very patient man. He must have had nerves of steel. He instructed me all the way around the track five times.  I slowed way down going around the curves, but finally got up the gumption to turn on the speed towards the end of my session.  When I reviewed the video of my laps, I burst out laughing because I looked like I was slowing down to get a parking spot at the mall.  When I had originally heard that I was "only" going five laps, I thought to myself that that would not be enough.  It turned out I was very wrong.  It requires a lot of hard work and muscles to do even one lap.

As I left the vehicle, I was feeling like I hadn’t had the thrill of the speed. I realized that I had let fear hold me back and now I had regrets that I just didn't let it fly.  To satisfy my as of yet unmet need for speed, I decided it was time to take a few laps with the Professional Race Car driver. His name was Rudy and his credits included being one of the drivers in the first Fast and Furious movie. I thought I would be completely nervous going into this adventure, but the opposite was true. I had such a feeling of calm come over me that Rudy could see I wasn’t scared at all. In fact, I think he took this as a challenge and turned up the heat. During our last lap, we completely fish tailed and swung around. I still wasn’t freaked out. Sorry Rudy, you can’t scare this old gal!  I have made a vow to go back and do this again very soon.  This time I will drive the Lamborghini.

After completing this adventure, I truly left the track on such a high.  I also vowed that I would not continue to hold back because of fear.  I would put myself out there and feel the fear and do it anyway!

“If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough.” ― Mario Andretti

Until my next adventure,

P.A. Walker

Want-To-Be Writer Turns "Real"

I have always been a voracious reader.  I love to read books, magazines, you name it.  I am turning the tides and becoming a rabid want-to-be writer. Why do I keep labeling myself a want-to-be? I AM a writer. I have hit publish on several blog posts.  I have submitted several articles for review.  Now for one of my firsts, I am going to start not one, but two books. I have two distinct ideas for books and somehow they keep melding into each other. Should I combine them or separate them?  I am just not sure. Today’s adventure will be to surrender the ideas and see where the universe takes them. I have one of the books finished to the point of a raw manuscript.  I sent out word to two different people to help edit and got no response. Instead of stopping what I was doing and not going forward, I just surrendered. I will alternatively continue to seek out editors and also wait it out and see who comes to me. I have an idea of going to an author's event in Denver next month. I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing and that this might answer this editing question. Again, surrender to the universe.  Why is it so hard to surrender to the universe?  I keep having this question come up when I try and do this.  Are you supposed to surrender completely or help the process along?  If you are to help the process along, what does that look like?

“I surrender this fear or desire. Thank you for taking care of it!”.

I ask you, the reader, to share with me any times in your life where you have just put your hands up and surrendered.  How did this work out for you?  Any thoughts on answering that universal question of how much should we be helping out?

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't". - Steve Marabol, Life, Truth and Being Free

Until the Next Adventure,

P.A. Walker

As always, you can follow me on Twitter, Instagram and my Facebook Page Kiva Wellness. www.kivawell.com.